New FFXI Expansions?! O rly?

 

And you thought FFXI was dead!

Aparently FFXI is going to expand itself three times in 2010! Wow, this was supposedly the year that the devs were going to pull the plug on the game. These are mini expansions like those last three that came out. Don't expect to drop anything more than 10 bucks on 'em. There is a website up, but it is just a tease, oh ffxi!

FFXI expansion teaser site  

Luna Online Full Review

Well, here it is, MMO-rphines first review! If you've been following all of the follow ups I've written, then you probably know the direction in which this review is going.

 

This is what your characters look like. You should see the NPCs though

Luna Online starts off innocent enough. The music is nothing to write home about. The graphics are bright and cutesy, not bad at all to look at. The character customization is really crappy and you have a hard time telling if you are a boy or girl. Of course, if you wanna look uber kewl you'll have to buy cash shop credits. So they throw you off in the starter area where every girl has huge, heaving breasts and armor that barely covers anything. Yet, for some reason the characters are little, underdeveloped children. The quests are very stream lined and you'll be able to knock them down quickly and level up fast. Combat is quick and it's really nice you don't have to loot anything, lets you focus more on the killing.

 

Hey look this hamster is playing Luna Online!

Eventually, you'll graduate from there and just go to the next generic town, and then the next, and the next, then that's when it happens. Your quest log starts getting a little thin. You either have to do really unrewarding quests that make you walk like 3-4 zones away THEN back! It's just a scam to get you to buy their teleporting map item so you don't have to walk. Your next choice is to just run repeatable quests over, and over, and over, and over again. I mean literally for hours, same quest, same monsters, no fun. Did I mention there is no end game content? So your grinding only leads you to dun-da-dun-da MORE GRINDING! Oh. and don't die unless you want to lose about an hours worth of work in a few seconds. Yes, the game is a grind and it's not bad at first with it's quick combat but, like anything done over and over with no end in sight, it's going to drive you crazy. Unless you are one of the blind fans who must have never played a good RPG and continue to play this crap trap. Some of them report that levels past the 90's may take a weeks worth of playing to achieve for us normal folk! A FUCKING WEEK TO LEVEL WITH NO END GAME? WHAT IS THE POINT!

Wut noob? You said you were level 9000!

So, now we know the game is a grind, but what else is there to do? Well, the game boasts an “innovative date system”, and by innovation I mean total fucking garbage. Also, this innovation dictates the instances in the game. The instances are highly generic and there is no real reward to them except being able to grind monsters in them. So, you wanna run one of these instances? First, you have to find someone of the opposite sex. They must be a certain match level since, you know, if you guys aren't compatible it's hard to kill mobs together. You must be in a party, which requires you to be right next to the person, so lets hope they aren't like 5 zones away. FINALLY! We can do a dungeon! Yay! But only three a day. They really need to color code the names so you know if its a boy or girl. All of the characters look like wimpy metro sexual faggots. So, if you play a male, expect to get people sending you tells saying “Girl?” Seriously, get rid of your flawed innovation system, it's garbage, along with this whole game.
The whole UI is nothing special just a hum drum copy of the WoW one, except not as fluid. The quest tracker blows, the quest log is in broken engrish, so sometimes figuring shit out is like piecing together hieroglyphics to find the lost arc. Some of the quests just keep repeating for some reason even though it doesn't tag them as repeatable. There are quests called (linkage) which, I have no clue what the fuck it means. I googled it to find no answer, don't expect a whole lot of info on this game. In fact, stay away from it. It was a long, long, long month, and I groaned anytime I had to play this game. There is no satisfaction from it at all and you'll probably grow bored before level 30. Do yourself a favor and just step away, far away.

Final Score: 4/10

Happy Ten Years Online Gaming Addiction, I mean PSO! Part II

 

"Hi, I'm PSO's unplanned child! Therefore I am hated bawwww."

In October of 2006, PSO decided to have a child. Many people, including your blog author, waited patiently for this title. We ate up any news of this game that we could find. Then, finally, the time came. Let me explain how important this game was to me. I freaking canceled my FFXII limited edition reserve to be able to afford PSU. In case you didn't know, Final Fantasy is one of my most beloved RPG series. This is the series I started playing at six years old. Basically, I grew up a FF nerd. So, yeah, this game had a lot of fucking expectations to live up to.

Some people got upset that PSU wasn't a PSO clone...a little too upset.
 

Well, sadly, PSU wasn't the game we all thought it was going to be. Everyone was kind of expecting a PSOII with updated graphics and new drops. But, I'm getting too far ahead of myself. I haven't even installed the game, yet! Now, of course, on day one there were mad problems. Server wouldn't even work (ironically enough the pay to play servers were working just fine.) So, I was forced to play the story mode. Yuck, I couldn't get into this garbage, it was horrible. The game itself felt entirely clunky and slow. Later I found out that there was some kind of fucked up setting you had to change for your game to run smooth. I was really getting turned off from the game at this point, but was hoping online play would make up for it.

 

LOL SEGAC! If you don't get it then you don't know.

 

Finally! Online, the game is bustling and everyone is spamming and doing the dance emotes, just having a good time. There was one little problem. A huge chunk of the game was locked out for online play. If you ask me, this move might have been what really pissed off a lot of people, initially. So, all of the data was on the disc, but SEGA locked it and would then unlock it, calling it an “update.” Way to be a bunch of lazy assholes, SEGA. You just love dicking your fans, don't you? No wonder you're a slave to the other consoles. No wonder you aren't even good enough to make Sonic games, anymore. Bluntly, FUCK YOU SEGA. Seriously, you know what made this even more shitty? They made sure to release the “new patches” ONE DAY after the new billing cycle, but more on this later.

 

Every girl on PSU was big breasted loli.

So, in the beginning there was hardly anything to do. Only a handful of missions and the max level was 50, which some people capped off in less than a week. The beloved rare hunting was replaced with a clunky, unforgiving crafting system. Meseta, which was once a joke in older games, was scarce. Sometimes I found it tough to keep my character stocked up on heals, so it was nice having a force. There were some good things. The character generator was very nice for an online game, the clothing you could buy gave you a sense of identity, the graphics were very bright and pretty (I loved the photon glow on weapons), combat was really fun and the photon arts made it more action-y.

 

Even Derek Zoolander is smart enough to be a SEGA developer.

Still, this wasn't enough in the beginning and I still tried giving it a chance. After the first “update” a lot of people got pissed and quit. It was hardly an update, it was more of the famous SEGA re-skins of older monsters in a generic environment. Also, the risk vs reward on these new missions weren't worth the time. Everyone still flocked to the easier, more reward filled missions. This really left a bad taste in my mouth and I sadly ended up leaving PSU.

 

Everyone was excited when I returned to PSU.

I'm not sure if it was even a year later, but I came back. At this point the level cap was around 110-120 and there were a ton more missions. Money and items dropped more and it started to seem like classic PSO. The game that I thought was doomed actually ended up consuming my life like the old PSO did. Still, it had its flaws. People still flocked to certain missions that gave them the best rewards instead of, you know, TRYING SOMETHING FUCKING NEW FOR A CHANGE! All in all, I made some good friends on there and the game was a blast. I eventually reached max level on the game and called it quits. I wasn't too fond of the way they handled updates and even to this day our beloved PS2 players will never know the full extent of the game because of SEGA closing the servers, already.

But, wait! There's more! There were a couple of PSO games released for your handheld pleasures. But that's another story, for a later time.

 

New Blizzard Poll Up

 

 I bet these leet gamers play WoW.

How many people in your family play WoW? 

Blizzard wants to know how many people in your family are tying off to that digital heroin we call WoW. I'm not sure what they do with this info, maybe they use it to stroke their egos? Maybe it's for the US Census?! Who knows, but might as well scratch Blizzards back because you never know they might scratch yours back, but I doubt it 11 million bacne covered backs is gross.

Occupational Hazard

 

Kind of hard to play with that giant X in the way.

Like a snow day to a school kid, when the servers down that means this reviewer gets off the hook for the day. Yet like the snow day I still have to make it up in the end. Oh well, time to get some stuff around the house done. 

A WTF Moment

 

Not Chris Hansen approved.

When I start a game I like to get a forum presence going. It helps me to better feel the community, maybe even get a little feed back on my articles. So I was getting ready to post the "Hai guyz I'm noob" thread when I noticed this down at the corner. This is an actual advertisement on this games site...whew they should really either word it better or get some new advertisers. 

Next Game: Grand Fantasia!

 What a frikkin' noob!

Okay, so we have Luna Onlin wrapped up and will have the full review up on here in a few days. Success! This is MMO-rphines first full review so pop open the champagne and lets all get a little tipsy. Wait? You aren't as excited as I am?! I'm super excited because that means I get to crack into another game and play something new! Yay games! Grand Fantasia folks, coming up, look for the impression for it in about a week.

Also if there is a MMO you would like reviewed go ahead and email me, or send me a comment. I'm always looking for new things to review.

Whatcha Playin'?

Hey there loyal readers. Josh here for MMO-rphine asking you what are you currently playing this weekend?

 

 I'm seriously not a weeaboo. Don't you judge me!

Right now I've been getting heavily into The World Ends With You. I could deal without some of the corny dialogue but right now the story is pretty interesting and I'm digging the combat system. Along with that I'm actually getting back into Animal Crossing for the DS. If you have a friend code for the game go ahead and send it my way and we can check out towns. Well happy gaming folks!

Super Cute WoW Plushies Coming Soon!

 

So cute that I could hurl. Doesn't help that I'm incredibly drunk too *hic*

Okay, so I'm not really drunk, but Blizzard has some new plushies coming out that even come with a little in game incentive. If you remember the article about getting your girlfriend into gaming, this is a great way to do so. Buy her one of these uber cute plushies that comes with a in game vanity pet and she'll be all over WoW. Heck she might even start finding you attractive, but don't count on too many miracles.

Buy plushies here on monday. 

Link above for your plushie buying pleasure. Screens below of the new in game pets they come with!

 

 Too bad they don't include a riding gnome/goblin on top of it for the LULZ!

Rare Game Mania!

 

Oh yeah totally worth $16,000...

Well it goes to show you that someone out there has more money than they know what to do with. This "holy grail" of video game collecting is now up for grabs at a mere 16,000 dollars! So yeah...Isn't this the game that came in packed in with the power pad? It sure looks like it.

Rare games for saleeeeeeeeee!

There's a link above in case you want to bid on it. 

Dilemma! Community

 

Time to play some MMORPGs bro.

Imagine, if you will, a game. Not just any game, this is THE game. It has very few game play flaws, every quest and NPC was well thought out, every item, every detail made with love for the game. The combat flows, and never becomes stagnant. The content is fresh and always on a steady schedule. The servers are impeccable with very little downtime, or lag. The game, in and of itself, is perfect, oh so very perfect. Now, here is the dilemma. The community is a cesspool, it is horrible.

This game seems to harbor the worst of the worst. You have the little teeny bopper crowd. The ones who spam, who use the public channels to gossip amongst themselves as if they never used AIM. The ones who purchase those items that send a global message to everyone in game and spam “I LOVE SO AND SO HEHEHE XDXDXD ><()><()><()><()><” The ones who use a million emoticons after their text. Just plain fucking annoying. Also, we have the uber elitist crowd. You know, the people who were never new at games. The ones who hopelessly devote their lives to said game, just so they can sit around with the hardest e-peen. The ones who ridicule you when you ask questions, laugh if you make a mistake, and snicker about your gear even though you just hit level cap. Just plain assholes. Let's not forget the trolls of the game, too. Wow are they bad. Every 4chan meme is constantly brought to your attention. They spam fake trade messages and tell you why they call it the Xbox 360. They are the type to Leroy Jenkins your party, to ninja your shit for the lulz. Just plain annoying assholes! All of these types of people are in abundance on said game, and outside of it too. They are active on the forums and on fan sites.

So, here is the dilemma: Is game play everything? Since our imaginary game has everything to it, can this made up community of filth ruin it? Could you just shrug it off and continue playing on? Would you be able to tolerate the community long enough to find a sensible person out of a billion? Or would you reach out for another game that might not be as good, but most of its players are sensible and mature?

I, personally, would pack my things and head to Bel Air. I mean, to another game. Those three types of people can really hurt a game, in my opinion. What is a developer to do, though? You can't really exclude a certain type of person from your game because of how they act (Unless it is some pretty shady stuff against their TOS.) It seems like quite the dilemma. Luckily, this is all just a world made up in my mind, no game could have that bad of a community right? Right?

So, share your experiences with us and let us know about games with terribad communities. Heck, no need to be all negative. Let us know about the games that might not be the WoW killer, but have a great community of folks that just make it enjoyable to be logged on to said game.

 

Luna Online Week Three

 

The new Luna Online electric grinder, now with more pointless grinding!

Okay! Week three, guys! For those that have been following my weekly roundups, you may have noticed that Luna Online started strong, only to turn into your typical Korean grind fest. Honestly, I can't wait to start playing Grand Fantasia (If you are really a big MMO-rphine fan, this was the other game that I was getting ready to review along side Luna until I thought that reviewing two mmos was a bit of a hassle.)

Right now things are looking bleak for the game. Everything seems as if, at a certain stage, it's been rushed. I'll keep this one short, as my last impression of the game will probably be about the same. Actually, I've started to loathe their party and dungeon system even more. I've spent several hours trying to form a party to do their stupid ass date dungeons. ALL I NEED IS ONE OTHER FUCKING PERSON! WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND ONE PERSON!?!?! ARGHHHH!!!! If I wanted this kind of annoyance, I would reactivate my FFXI account. No hard feelings, FFXI I, I still love you. Who's a good game? You are! So cute! <3 Err, there I go rambling.

Oh and the events, too. WTF? One is simply useless, all it does is fill my already small inventory up with more useless shit. The other? Well, it's fighting lvl 130 bosses to get a crack at some cash shop items. How is this fun?! It almost seems limiting in the way these things are set up. There's no news of any kind of new content coming out but, hey, guess what? NEW CASH SHOP ITEMS! YAY! If you didn't notice, that's fucking sarcasm. I'm not amused, not one bit.

Well, I'm approaching the final stretch of my Luna Online review where I plan to go into detail and break the game down to let you know which MMOs are failures and which are actually worth investing in. Also, at this point I'm debating the idea of doing my final review as a video review. This would be a whole new thing for me, as I know absolutely nothing about video editing, and I'm not sure my mic is of the best quality. Well, we will see in time. Stay tuned, loyal readers. More wacky MMO antics are to come!

Don't forget to keep an eye out for part two of my ode to PSO, and a new article I like to call Dilemma! coming soon. Keep on grinding, my friends.

 

 

Happy Ten Years Online Gaming Addiction, I mean PSO!

There is a game near and dear to me. Without this game, I'm not sure If I'd be writing this. Sure, I'd have a social life, but think of the memories! The year this game came out, a young gamer didn't have Xbox Live, no World of Warcraft. You either had Ultima or Everquest. Those were the big contenders. Also, computers were still pretty pricey at the time. Now you can pick up a value computer and do alright on most mmo's, granted you aren't trying to play them at max graphics. With the Dreamcast, though, it was the first console to even risk putting a 56k modem in it. Yes, SEGA was being the console badass by adding the possibility for the Dreamcast to connect to the vast tubes of the internet. Sadly I can't think of too many games that took advantage of it. But one did, and I don't care if it was the only game to go online. That modem was built for Phantasy Star Online, oh yes. Before, when I played an RPG, my other teammates were either computers or me just having to control them in some manner. No, these people were real-fucking-human-fucking-beings! Holy Shit! It was mind blowing.

 That dude on the front looks fucking serious bro!

Everything about this game was epic at the time. The soundtrack was beautiful and would send chills down my spine. The atmosphere the game offered you was beautiful, too. The graphics were just stunning for the year. The lag on the game was almost none, even on 56k. It seemed SEGA had created the perfect online RPG! But there's always a downside. First off, when you died you dropped your weapon and meseta (currency). With the anonymity of the internet, it wasn't surprising to get your stuff stolen. A lot. Heck, I got some of my best weapons through theft shhhhh! Eventually the game took the route of a seedy cantina. Hackers and cheaters were running the game and SEGA had no fucking clue how to stop it. It wasn't too long before all the uber rares were in the hands of the public, being massed duped, having hacked percents. That was just the tip of the iceberg. Soon, people were able to crash whole lobbies, send you a guild card that could erase your character, turn your character into a level 5 gimp named NOL, and even ruin your runs by giving you the infamous BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. When you played online, you had to protect your neck. This caused a lot of turmoil and I swear it interfered with the major success of the game.

Original, new content, right?

About a year later SEGA released V2. At this point in my life I ate up anything PSO related and went, like a lifeless zombie, to the store ASAP to get my reserved copy. This game wasn't free to play, unlike PSO. You had to cough up 8 bucks for 2 months. Still, I didn't care. Why? Well, it added all sorts of fun new features. Ultimate mode was one. In Ultimate the monsters and scenery looked different, and the drops were oh so sweet! They added a lot of sweet new weapons and armors, too. There was also battle and C-mode. C-mode was a great little concept that, sadly, players weren't too into. It revolved around a set dungeon, and you basically started as a scrubby low level and worked your way up. At the end of it all you got to CREATE YOUR OWN FRIKKING WEAPON, if you completed it quick enough. Finally, I could have the Hamburger saber. Battle mode, in my opinion, was fairly lame. It was unbalanced and just wasn't very fun. PvP wasn't really PSO's strong point. The level cap went up a whole 100 levels and it was pretty damned hard to hit cap! Before, it was pretty damned easy to hit cap. I guess they wanted to make sure they got our 4 bucks a month. Oh, if you happen to have your copy still laying around its pretty lulz worthy to read the back and see them bragging about their new anti cheat software. Guess what it did? Nothing. That's right. When this game was released, SEGA was assuring players they found a way to stop cheating. Well, they didn't and we still had the problems from before.

Well the Dreamcast tanked, lets try that new cube based system.

Fast forward a year and then we start seeing PSO being rehashed for different systems. This was a good thing, because I know a lot of PSO fans who started on these versions and not the Dreamcast. These new releases also added a whole new episode and even some new classes. Another neat addition was that you could play local multiplayer on a split screen. This was a great idea if you had some friends who liked PSO, too. This kept your files from getting raped by a hacker wannabe and it made sure all the loot within your game was legit. 10 years later, I still play the Gamecube edition and it's one of my favorites because of multiplayer. Other than that, it was basically your same game. They released a PSO+ a year later which had more offline quests added and a couple of glitch fixes. Well now that PSO has been re-released so many times, it was about time for them to do something. Right? ..Right? Well, they took a new direction for the series.

Did someone say Phantasy Star III? No? Wrong game? Shit!

2004 – SEGA gives us Phantasy Star Online Episode 3 “C.A.R.D. Revolution.” At first I was like WTF? Then I LOL'd. Then I just went out and fucking bought it because it had the word PSO on it. As the title so plainly suggests, this is a card game. Yep, the action RPG was turned into a card battle game. Now before you groan and whine, I think if you haven't played it then you should give it a chance. If you are a fan of any kind of CCG like Magic The Gathering I think you'll actually have a blast with this game. The soundtrack is very ambient, and sets a great mood to some very nice playing maps. The game play was decent, but sometimes card games just seemed a bit redundant. The true addiction within the game was after the battle. This is when you picked a booster pack, and getting new cards was just a good enough reason to keep playing. The game got decent scores by critics, but I think the fans were a bit upset by it (I know I was a bit upset). Alas, this is a PSO game and I do have some pretty good memories with this title. Like choosing to buy this game instead of new work boots. Hey, I can walk on busted ass shoes for another week, it's a new fucking PSO GAME!

Sounds like cold medicine. Wonder if I play it enough if I'll robo-trip?!

About a year later (noticing a pattern?) PSO was once again RE-RELEASED. I know, I know. You're probably sitting there wondering how many times these grubby little assholes are going to do this. Well, this is it for the old PSO series. This is Blue Burst. This was a PC only title and, amazingly enough, was free to download. All you had to do was pay a subscription fee. Nice, SEGA. There were also a few little upgrades to the game itself, too, which made it IMO the best online version of this game. First off, you couldn't play this game offline; everything was server side. This kept wannabe hackers from tinkering with their files and taking them online. It did reduce cheating a little bit, but I'm sure it was still around. They also added a whole new episode. I never liked the new episodes, I'm an episode I kind of guy. Sadly, after this, all of PSO as we knew it started to die. First the Dreamcast servers shut down. Then, in 2007, the Gamecube and Xbox servers. And finally, in 2008, the BlueBurst servers. It was sad times for gamers who dedicated all those gaming hours into their PSO files but, like a phoenix, PSO rose from the ashes and began a new life on private servers. These private servers, which can still be played on today, unlike the SEGA servers, were free and they were run for the LOVE of the game. They cared about keeping the game legit, and adding new things. Of course that didn't last long, either, as the main private server got handed down. Now we don't hear jack shit from the guy, not to mention the ban happy admin staff from hell!

But, hey, what about that other game? You know, that one sequel to the series..............

Check out Part II of this article, soon, for my memories of the games that came after our beloved PSO.

Damn You PSO!!

Been playing a lot of the Phantasy Star Online series. I'm thinking about writing a 10 year anniversary article about PSO and my fond memories of it and the other games that followed.

Mmmm miniature PSO, do want!

This game is also eatting up my gaming time too, a great rendition of the old Dreamcast PSO in portable glory.

Whats the point?

 

Maybe I could be a developer for a freebie MMO? Hell I don't even need to know how to spell "too!"

So, I'm getting ready to play some Luna Online so that I can give it a fair review, and it has me thinking “What's the point?” Every level gained is getting me nowhere. In other games, in the back of my mind, I was like, “Well only x more levels until I can access this new dungeon.” I've already reached out to the community, asking about how I could possibly make my grinding easier and if there was an endgame worth leveling for. As far as I know the game is just a mindless grind until 85! Then it just turns into a super grind fest with levels that will take your average player up to a week to gain. What the fuck, game? Now, I've already played quite a few free MMOs, and I've noticed there is just no end game content. For some reason a lot of people are okay with this, and will even subject themselves to blatant fanboyism. But, why? Do they just not know of games where you get to max level and have something to do? Is this game really that addicting to them? It seems that their level is just a number for bragging rights. But, then again, who the hell would care to hear you brag about Luna Online?

 

GRIND GRIND GRIND WELCOME TO LUNA ONLINE!

All major MMOs have an end game of sorts, or at least the good ones trying to hold the attention of your average MMO gamer. New MMOs that launch usually have the problem of forgetting to add an endgame. People get to the end of the leveling and then, that's it, there's nothing to do. Maybe it's time for free developers to wake up, take a look at the games that work, and maybe start adding some content. That is, content that goes further than updating the cash shop; I do not desire a new outfit, at this point. I just want some fun dungeons! Or even, maybe, a working party system? I mean, we're the ones paying your developers by buying cash shop items, we might as well get a decent game to play. When a game starts getting boring at 30, there is probably a slim chance in hell I'm going to want to spend money on it. I wish I could find the number of people who quit before even reaching 50, that might prove some kind of point to them. But, by now, I think their profit reports look something like: “Ohfuckitweremakingjustenoughmoneynoneedtotry.” GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT DOESNT INVOLVE BROKEN PVP, OR JOINING A GUILD. Whew! It's going to be a long month, reviewing this game. Someone should buy me a drink!

Okay, back on topic. Let's talk about their cash shop, I'm afraid it might be what interferes with raid dungeons. They want you to buy the expensive, 30 day online, strong weapons. Then there is the other spectrum, where they have something that's uber rare. You need to do outrageous things and drop enormous amounts of cash on it. The least they could do is lessen the grind, this isn't helping their company at all. People are quitting, people who would have possibly purchased items from the cash shop. Drop the exp scroll bullshit and use the cash shop for vanity. No one really enjoys playing a game where cash rules like that, we all want to have fair playing grounds.

So, if you are playing a freebie game and it's sounding like this, do something! There is no reason that a shoddy game should be allowed on the market like this! At least you have your loyal blogger to hear about which freebie MMOs are crap and which might actually be worth paying for. So if you are following us, look for my concrete review on Luna Online in a few weeks. At the rate this game is going, the scores are looking pretty grim for it. Well, they might have something to impress me before I review it! Their Valentines Day event sure isn't wowing me.

Luna Online Week One Reflection

Ok, so we WERE reviewing two games at once, when I decided that maybe reviewing two MMORPGs at once might not be the best idea. Any who, let's go back and take a look at Luna Online and dig up some dirt on it. Let's focus on the bad, and not the good.

 

"Nod the head", engrish ftw!

Quest UI

Wow, there was little thought put into this thing. Tracking quests, which should be an automated process in my opinion, is quite a pain. You have to go into the quest log, track it by hand, and can only track one! The quest engrish can be quite frustrating, at times. You have this one mysterious looking quest and the message is very cryptic. How am I supposed to know what to do, game? Sometimes the quest engrish is so bad and unclear that some people have just assumed the quests to be broken. Another thing that got on my nerves was quest NPCs who said they were ready to have a quest turned in, yet you needed some kind of quest item. If that's the case, then why does it say I'm ready to turn it in?!

Grinding

At around level 30, the game starts to take the plunge. I don't know why, but every one of these free MMOs grinds seem to start at 30. I'm at level 33, and when I played about a week ago I was only level 30. Now, granted, I'm not power leveling like a maniac. I do, however, try to grind out high exp yielding quests during my game time. Most of the time, whenever I level, I feel very little satisfaction and begin wondering why anyone else would care to keep playing. As far as I know, Luna has no end game.

Party UI

I'm getting into some quests where I need to get into a party. I'm also at the level when you can grind a high level dungeon area with a few friends. The thing is, well, I see no party system, no way for me to say “Hey, level 33 archer here looking to group up.” I guess you could use one of those dreaded megaphones, but those cost cash and I thought this game was free.

Date Dungeons

These things have nothing to do with dating, love, or being in a relationship what-so-ever. They should have renamed this thing to make it more open for everyone. There are some serious people out there who consider this the form of going steady in game. While it is cute to be able to ask your significant other out on a date dungeon, it does kind of block it out for some people. You can't have a same sex date dungeon either, thanks to the extreme homophobia in Korea (yet, in one of the start up pictures on the launcher there are two girls kissing). If it was just called something else, we wouldn't have to worry about same sex dates and being unfaithful to our significant other, it would just be a regular old dungeon.

Well those are a few highlights I had in mind as I was playing. This is only week one down, and I still have three more to go! So, faithful reader, until then, happy grinding!

Easing Your Girlfriend Into Gaming

Let's face it, if your girlfriend isn't exactly into gaming, then she's not going to be too lenient towards huge, 12 hour grind sessions. She isn't going to understand that bathing and eating can be put on the back burner. She really isn't going to understand how the sun could hurt ones eyes so damn much. That is until you slowly drip that MMO-rphine into her system. Suddenly it all becomes clear. She thinks as if she's in game and wonders why the fuck you haven't been leveling your crafts to make her some gear. You'll also see a lot more compassion towards your gaming habits. Hell, she might even look cool to your gaming buddies.

This is not an easy task. Some of you may get as lucky as I did, and hook a girl who's already dabbled in games. Or, you might even get someone who is freaking 1337 2 the max. Now, let's assume you've got the typical girlfriend. She wants you to leave the house gasp! And, she wants you to do activities that don't require you sitting in front of a screen double gasp! This is a mini guide on getting her to ease her way into gaming. Don't throw her right into WoW, or whatever your poison is, unless your poison happens to be on the list! Let's take a look at our first step, the gateway drug, if you will.

FACEBOOK APPS

Love them, or hate them, this is one of the greatest ways to get a chick into gaming. All of these games have RPG elements in them, already. There's the concept of leveling up, rare items, forming parties (finding and adding neighbors), and it all sets off the so called accomplishment trigger in the brain. You know? The one that has us hooked on our favorite game.

These games are definitely easy for her to get into. I'm sure she has a Facebook, already, and it probably already has tons of wall posts from people trying to get her to raise their barns, or what have you. Games like these are casual, but do have an addictive edge to them. You'll find people that haven't gamed much in the past habitually starting to work on their apps. Little do they know they just might be the next generation of gamers to fill up our servers and run our guilds.

So she has taken the bait...now on to phase two.

PHANTASY STAR ONLINE (GAMECUBE)

PSO is one of those pick up and play games. It's super simple, yet oh-so-addicting. The lure here is to ask her if she wants to do something and you can suggest a two player game. Just tell her you level up like in farmville. Now, I chose this game for a couple of reasons. It's simple; this will get her used to the basic traditional RPG mechanics. She'll have to learn to heal herself, to manage her stats, and to properly gear herself. This will also expose her to the grind we all know and love. The best part is the co-op mode as a lure. You -could- play online, but there's a chance that she might not be too used to the gaming community, and it could possibly scare her away.

You could also try Phantasy Star Universe. This game isn't as simple as PSO, but it still isn't a very difficult game. The huge draw for her would probably be the insane customization. Characters can be very unique in this game. The clothing system in game is usually pretty appealing to a female.

So, you got this far. Pretty good, even if you don't get any further, you could probably squeeze 1000 hours of solid gameplay out of PSO. But, if she's still interested, let's continue.

DRAGONICA ONLINE

AWW SO CUTE! Very cute graphics, indeed, but more of that traditional MMORPG feel to it. There are instances, and this time you'll have to work with more than just the two of you to get anywhere in game. The goal, here, is to bribe her with cuteness. I could list a ton more games that have very cutesy graphics to them, but I particularly like DO, and I plan on reviewing it in the future.

Be careful, though, with some of these freebie anime style games. If you hadn't noticed how sexified the women are, you might need to get your eyes checked. There are games where the world is full of nothing but huge breasted women who wear cleavage exposing clothing, and have that perfect hour glass shape. Heck, she might even be into it, but I'm not even going there.

At this point you basically have her, she is probably open to all suggestions, she is probably craving different games now. You probably ruined her life but, fuck it, you just made a solid gaming buddy. So now that she's come this far, go ahead, do it. You know you want to. Still here, huh? Just freaking go to the website and get her the free trial. You know what I'm talking about right?

WORLD OF WARCRAFT

MMO bliss in a box. Blizzard has a habit of taking a genre, looking into the successful games of its past and mashing them all together to form a great game. I'm not going to go into too many details about this game, 'cause I want to review it, but it's not going to be for a long time. I've only been severely addicted to two MMOs in my life, and this is one of them. Approach with caution!

Luna Online Expansion Trailer.

Looks the like the world of Luna is expanding! It's even getting a rename to Luna Plus, kind of like Phantasy Star Online plus I guess. I see no US release dates but it looks like Korea is getting ready to start its beta test of the expansion.

Top 10 Drinks and Snacks of Gaming

What obesity epidemic? Oh, the one in our country? Well, this article isn't going to help a lot. I'm going to combine eating and gaming to compile a list for you, the reader, on the greatest foods you can have while raiding with your guild, or soloing some boars.

10. Energy Drinks
Only 100k more exp 'til that next level. You've been up for 24 hours already, what is a gamer to do? How else are you going to squeeze an extra 2 hours out of your already beaten body? Energy drinks to the rescue! Delicious, tons of different flavors to choose from, and different levels of energy. Everyone has a favorite (Full Throttle for this writer). So what are you waiting for? Chug!

9. Beer
What goes up, must come down. Sure, drinking a few too many could put an end to your gaming night, but how else are you going to grind the same dungeon over and over? Sometimes a little alcohol makes it a bit better. Much like its brother the energy drink, there is a beer out there for everyone! And it's cheap, too. $1.70 for 40 delicious ounces of beer? I'll drink to that.

8. Peanut Butter and Waffles
Peanut butter is packed full of protein to help you keep your already healthy gaming physique in shape. Waffles are packed with carbs.. I think you see where I'm going with this one. Combine them! Do it! For the love of God, please. A lot of funny looks for this treat, but once you try it, you're hooked. I've been on the stuff for about 9 years now. What are you waiting for?

7. Reese's Big Cup
Why mess with two Reese's when you can just stuff one huge one down your throat? Go on, grab that big 'ol thing and choke it down. The less time you spend staring at your food, the less time that noob who pks the afk folks has to whittle down your health bar. Oh, and they are freaking amazing! It's like being bitch slapped by deliciousness.

6. McDonald's Dollar Menu
New games aren't cheap and preparing a meal takes time that you could be spending lvling up that hunter. Luckily, someone had the bright idea to use more kangaroo meat in the McDonald's hamburger formula to make them cheaper. Seriously, how else are you going to get a double cheeseburger for a dollar? Now, everyone is doing the value menu, but McDonald's is the originator and sometimes it's hard to beat the original. Fast food = faster lvling.

5. White Castle
Holy crap. I had White Castle not too long ago for the first time. They are these little, grease soaked hamburgers and, I don't know why, but they are so delicious. They are also cheap as sin! The onion rings are amazing, and so are the chicken rings. The menu is pretty simple, but they do it damn well. Also, the place never closes, so, no matter what time it is, the Castle is always open.

4. Cashews. Hell, Nuts in General.
A great hand held snack, and they're fancy. So, class it up a little and grab a big 'ol handful of nuts. Feel like a rich kid for a minute and savor those nuts. Even if cashews aren't your thing, there is a nut for everyone. Cashews remain my number one, along with the honey roasted peanuts. They're a bit pricey, so this is definitely for your premium snacking night.

3. Ferrero Rocher
Another premium snack. There is just something about this candy that makes them addicting. It has everything you could ask for in a candy: Chocolate? Check. Crispy bits? Check. Gooey center? Check. Hazel nut in the middle? Check. These are a bit on the pricey side, too, so you might wanna stash them for personal use only.

Or.. you could try to break a world record with them.

2. Beef Jerky
Beef Jerky is heaven in a bag. Tender and savory, this snack knows how to set off all those little pleasure sensors inside your brain. Imagine biting into a piece of your favorite jerky while getting that rare drop you've been farming for months. You might just explode in pure ecstasy. If not, you're at least munching on the most awesome snack on earth. All hail beef jerky!

1. Taco Bell
Yes, Taco Bell. Surprised? You shouldn't be. They took the dollar menu, and drop kicked it. Some items are only 79 cents. And each of these items are f'ing amazing, cheesey, and just pure bliss in a soft shell. You can go in with 5 bucks, get full, and even bring home a doggy bag for later. Another bonus? Baja Blast! A Taco Bell exclusive, it's rumored that scientists invented it for the sole purpose of making your Taco Bell experience ten times better.

So, there you have it. This is my list of the top 10 drinks and foods of gaming! What are yours?

Luna Online First Impressions

Don't let looks fool you in this game. Yes, it looks a bit kiddy. Yes, it's a bit cutesy, (Not a bad way to get your girlfriend into MMOs with the whole cute appeal, but more on that in a later article.) but this is a pretty solid game. This is one of the rare MMOs where I have a bit of fun grinding. The combat seems exceptionally fluid, and it's fast paced. Kill mob, kill mob, kill mob, drink pot. Keep going until you are surrounded by the bodies of your enemies. 

As with most of your freebie games, your customization is limited, and you'll just look like a generic archer when you start out on the game. What this does is entice the creative side in us to let go of our cash in cash shops for the chance at new hair, or eyes that look wacky.

Even though it sounds like a plot to get your dollars, the game is actually quite generous. There is a little timer at the top right counter, which I'm going to call the addiction counter. This little thing keeps track of your time played, and total monster kills. Whenever you hit a magic number on there, which I'm not even sure how the formula works, you get a little gift box. Way to make sure we limit our game play by rewarding us to PLAY LONGER! Oh well. Not only that, but there are special gift boxes that you get to open up whenever you reach a specific level. You'll sometimes find cash shop items for free in there, which is pretty awesome.

Currently I'm level 31 and the quests are starting to get a bit redundant but, for some reason, I'm always excited to rush into a big wave of mobs and go ape shit with my bow. Well, it looks like I got some grinding to do, signing out!

Grand Fantasia First Impressions.

Well, let's take a look at this first title, shall we? The installer was no sweat and there weren't any engrish errors while patching. So far, so good. Just made a character; an archer type. The customization is pretty lacking, so don't expect to be the flower that stands out in the garden. However, there is a "Makeover Kit" that can be purchased from the cash shop
 with a larger selection of features.

This game has one huge shining aspect to it: It took a huge que from Blizzards UI and it is hands down one of the nicest, and cleanest UI's I've seen in a free to play MMO. Most games fall short on their UI, and some games' UI even ends up making the game more of a hassle to play.

There are all the functions you'd expect in WoW, like sharing quests, a quest tracker, and a detailed mini map. Oh, and did I mention you get a little pet that looks like a freaking tamagachi that you send to do your dirty work? Heck yeah! That little bastard can mine for you, forage through jungles, and then come home like a little bitch to make his master a new level 8 gun. The features depend on what type of pet you choose, and there's a type to fit every class.

So far I'm digging the game and it's one of the more enjoyable free to plays. I'm level 10 now, and it's not too much of a grind so far but, hey, this isn't over yet. Well, back to the grind my friends.